i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
