I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
