I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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