i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
