escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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