I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
