Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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