My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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