Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
