sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
