sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
