Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
