I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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