how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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