Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
