So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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