I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
