Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize