She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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