I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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