so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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