Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
