im drinking this country out of the recession.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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