you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize