I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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