i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
