last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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