I just cut my nipple shaving
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family