You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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