now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.