I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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