first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment