Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.