You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
