like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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