my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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