You surviving the open bar?
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unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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