I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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