you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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