no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
