i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
