I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
