I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize