Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
