i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize