Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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