Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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