The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
how does that bad decision feel?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
