Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
