Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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