sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We got so high we made milksteak
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
