I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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