u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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