Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
