I look better un-naked...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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