So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
