remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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