I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
