I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
