he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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