So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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