So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
