Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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