i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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