omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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