Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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