He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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